Maz Compton

maguetteandlarringfort asked: will you marry maguette & larringfort?

It would be an honour :)

Serendipity anyone?

This is the story of my New Years Eve.

Originally I was going to be spending NYE in Byron Bay with some friends, but circumstances changed and at the 11th hour, I cancelled the Byron trip and locked into spending the night in Bondi with some girlfriends. There were a number of options, but the loose plan was to stay at my friend Mel’s place for a few nights while she was holidaying with her family in WA, meet her at home on NYE when she got back into town and then call up the crew and hit up a few house parties. Not a bad option at all. I was psyched.


Mel was going to give her house keys to our friend Shaz, who was spending Christmas with my family this year. Mel was to give Shaz the keys, then Shaz pass them on to me. All a good plan, which however did not go to plan. The girls didn’t meet up, so that meant I had no access to Mel’s place. The next plan came into effect when Shaz suggested that I spend those few days with her at her place, there was a spare room, I could take all my luggage, and we could still do the Bondi thing with Mel for NYE. Sounded amazing.

So Christmas Day came and went and involved a few interesting activities such a pre present opening frisbee in the pool, a failed kayaking adventure, too many glasses of champagne and some fun random guests. The injuries from our kayaking adventure are documented below….

It finally came time to relocate to Shaz’s place, so my lovely brother came and had lunch with Mum and I and then took me to Shaz’s palace in Balmain. As we pulled up out the front of the palace, Shaz was walking out the front door with her temporary roomie, Andrew, one of five who share the house together. We threw my luggage in the house and then accompanied them to the local for a brewski, vino, beverage, you get the drift…



Over the course of the afternoon we batted around plenty of ideas for the following nights activities, and one was decided upon, Mel was going to in fact come to Balmain, we were going to have a girls NYE and the only plan was that there was no plan.

It was the night before New Years Eve and as it does, the afternoon turned into a full blown house party, with games in the hammock, a gourmet BBQ, again too many glasses of champagne, D and M’s, and the introduction of the Rabbit Whisperer. This is our friend Brock, who to this day is the only human to successfully pick up and cuddle Dylan, the pet rabbit that lives in Balmain. A hilarious night.

So all of a sudden it’s NYE 2011 - 2012. So I’m looking down the barrel of a new fresh and exciting year, looking ahead at a night where the only plan is no plan and uber excited because I was spending the night with two of my favourite girls in the world. The three musketeers had been reunited and who knew where the night would take us.

We stocked the fridge, cracked a beer and welcomed over two great friends, one of whom arrived with a bottle of Bollenger,(thanks Micah, you are such a superstar). Cheers! And the afternoon of reflecting on 2011 and dreaming about how epic 2012 was going to be had begun, mixed with a few anecdotes from Shaz about getting mugged, but that’s another BLOG entirely. In fact, I might just write a book about that kid.

The boys left, and Mel shipped in straight from the family holiday. Another bottle of Champagne cracked and another friend’s arrival. Before long it was time to head onto the roof, yes, onto the roof of the palace, and settle in to watch the 9pm Sydney fireworks. We took up cushions, blankets, vodka and an epic cheese platter. The key to scaling a rooftop to watch fireworks, is do not look down and stick to putting your body weight across the bolts of the corrugated iron. Mission accomplished. Flat mate Kat and her friend Amelia arrived soon after and scrambled onto the roof just in time to catch the fire works, they unfortunately missed out on hearing the Pet Shop Boys concert live from the harbour, that was a highlight.

And we were away, an entire skyline and birds eye view of each point around the whole harbour where the fireworks were set off, it was a pretty magical moment, screams of laughter, and a lot of ‘oh my gosh that is so wild’ was heard from our rooftop gathering as well as ‘can you pass me a lighter?’ and ‘is this my vodka or yours?’



After the fireworks, we slowly and one at a time please, shimmied down the rooftop, through the hallway window and down the stairs to fire up the BBQ. Dinner is served.

Next, the arrival of the Rabbit Whisperer, a quick costume change for one party girl (that would be me people), we stocked the cooler bag with beers and vodka, topped up the traveller cups and we were off. Where to next… Shaz’s old flalt mate was having a house party, we were invited and the view for the midnight fireworks indescribable.

We arrive, and get straight into the fun, busting out moves on the dance floor, I meet the party hosts, I meet some of their friends, I also went down to the private street to suss out which had the best view for the fireworks and whilst there I met a group of Pommy’s all in fancy dress for no reason other than it soon to be the start of a new year and why not bring it with a sword and some PVC. I met a couple of Vikings, I met Xina, Warrior Princes and a Yetti. Yep, all before midnight.

For me it was back up the house, back to the dance floor. There was this one guy who caught my attention, he was dancing on the dance floor, and MC’ing live over the track that was playing. He was actually quite amazing, so I got the attention of my friend Ben and said,

‘How crazy is this guy’
He responded with ‘Yeah, what a legend’

I was slightly mesmerised. As the song ended I felt it appropriate to pass comment, so I pinched the corner of his singlet to get his attention and said,

‘That was pretty wild, you are really good…’
Her responded with,

‘Oh my God, Maz Compton, what the f*** are you doing here.’

At that point, everything stopped happening around us and I was caught in the Simon bubble. This is how the conversation played out…

Me: (speechless, holding my hand up to my mouth)
He: Shit, I cannot believe you are here
Me: (still lost of words, eyes bulging out my head)
He: You look amazing, what are you doing here
Me: (still in a state of shock)
He: Oh my God, this is crazy, I can’t believe it’s really you
Me: (almost passing out and unable to breathe for a moment)
He: Babe?…
Me: Woah, Simon, holy shit.

Then he grabbed me and picked me off the floor, spun me around, grabbed my face to check it was me and put me down. It was then that it truly felt like i was in a movie.

Me: Holy shit balls, I cannot believe it’s you, how long has it been
He: Ten years
Me: Do you remember giving me your bracelet
He: Yes, it was after a night at Mona
Me: No shit, I still have your bracelet.

Ok so here is the back story

When I was 21, I used to always hang out at Mona with a pretty tight crew. This one night I remember this gorgeous guy walking into the pub with a cool hat and green t-shirt, I said to my friend, ‘Who is that?’ That was Simon. He’s the guy that you can’t help but stare at because there is something special hidden in his soul. He’s the most loving, energetic, kind hearted and fun human you could ever meet… as I discovered over the next few weeks. We ended up meeting each other through a friend I had gone to school with and the mutual chemistry was there from the very beginning. Simon and I became kissing buddies for a moment in time. Nothing more and with no intention of taking it further, there was clearly going to be a ‘last time’ that we kissed. That last time was after a relatively large night out, so large in fact that my friend James had to drive my car home for me. James dropped Simon off first, and when kissing buddy kissed me goodbye he gave me his silver bracelet. I promised to return it (and to be honest, that in my head was going to be next Thursday night at Mona). For whatever reason, I never saw Simon again after that night, until right now.

Over the years, I have often gone through all my jewellery and donated a heap of it to Vinnies, but I would always get to that bracelet, and think, that’s Simon’s, I’ll hang onto it. How wild is that.

When you thing about all the hoops I had to jump through to arrive at this person’s party in Balmain, and of all the people I could have danced next to that night, it was the guy I hadn’t seen for 10 years, that is pretty wild.

So we spoke for ages about how long it had been, what we had both been up to, our common love of yoga, fun times and our ability to always be the life of the party… so really, nothing much had changed with me and Simon in ten years. It would appear we were both single on NYE… so when some of the team decided to ship it home, I made a point of staying. It’s not everyday you have such a serendipitous moment. In fact, we kept saying that it was like it was a movie. Next port of call was to stop off at Shaz’s place, grab some blankets and head to Bondi Beach to watch the first sunrise of 2012. Which we did.

Surrounded by some of my closest friends, some I hadn’t seen for ages, some I had, some new friends who I know will become my closest and a guy I used to kiss ten years ago. What a way to start the best year of my life yet.
I have never felt more elated, blessed, confused, loved, excited and spun out than at this very moment…



Talk about Serendipity.
Do you think I should call him?

Lucky it’s my laptop

So it was a Friday night, I finished the show and walked to my car in the basement. It had been a hot day, so the convertible was looking hot as with the roof off. As I approached my car, my Producer asked me if she could borrow a CD for the ride home, I chucked my stuff on the back of said car, opened the door and rummaged through my glove box to find said CD. I handed her the CD, (for those of you that are curious, it was Doohops and Hooligans by Bruno Mars). I grabbed my bag from the back of the car, jumped in, fired up that bad boy and hooned out of the basement, my weekend had officially begun.

I was driving over the Sydney Harbour bridge, talking to a friend on the phone, yes on a hands free before you judge… wind blowing in my hair, having a laugh then I noticed a motorcycle rider beeping and waving at me, weird right? So I totally ignore this mad man motorcycle bikie character and continue the conversation with my friend. As I turned off onto Falcon St, the motorcycle crazy drove past. Crisis over. I finish up my conversation, get home. Weekend is now in full swing. As I get out of my car I grab my bag and then go to reach for my laptop, ‘where is my laptop?’ I think.

I search the passenger seat, the backseat, the floor and even the boot. I searched that entire car and concluded only thing, NO LAPTOP. I mentally retraced my steps and then realise that I had left my laptop on the back of my car! Oh shit. Instead of crying, I burst out laughing. What can you do, I had no idea where it fell off on the journey home .I assume I have to go and visit the Apple the store the next day. I walk into my house, crack a bottle of wine and update on twitter.

“so I was driving home and I saw this crazy motorcyclist who was beeping at me’

‘I wound up my window and ignored him’

‘I got home and realised I had left my laptop on the back of my car’

‘hilarious, I have to go shopping tomorrow’

‘goodnight’

I went to sleep. The next day I woke up and checked twitter as I usually do on the weekend. I had a few @replies about the laptop disaster, then I read this

@MazCompton I was the guy on the motorcycle, I was trying to get your attention to tell you that there was something on the back of your car.

@MazCompton I have your laptop.

I honestly though this was a sick joke, I asked the guy to DM me his number.

He did

I called.

Me: ‘Hi Tim, this is Maz how are you?’

He: ‘Good Maz, I work next door to you so I know what car you drive.’

(in my head thinking, oh not creepy at all!!!)

He: ‘I could see there was something on the back of your car,
last night on the ride home and I was trying to get your attention. Then you wound up your window and I thought, ‘what a bitch’ So I just kept driving home. I got to the Roseville Bridge and suddenly realised that I had left my wallet at work. I turned around and rode back to work, got my wallet and headed back home.’

Me: ‘No way!’ (there may have been an expletive in that sentence

He: ‘Yes, and as I was driving at the part of the road where I was trying to get your attention I saw something on the road. So I pulled over and picked it up.’

Me: ‘Do NOT tell me that it was my laptop lying in the middle of six lanes of traffic?’

He: ‘Yes it was your laptop’

Me: ‘Oh God, does it look like R2D2’s insides?’

He: ‘Not a scratch. You are possibly the luckiest person in the world’

I almost fell out of bed. This guy had my laptop, not a scratch, I would NOT believe it. He took it into work the next day, of course I bought him a case of beer and now I get to write this story on my non run-over, miraculously intact laptop.

How crazy is that!!!

And they say miracles don’t happen.

It’s Bath Time!

Bath Time

A friend of mine told me this great story that I want to share. My friend is a wonderful husband, father of three and all around top bloke. He told me that he was at home in the kitchen… cooking… which I highly doubt, regardless, he was in the kitchen and yelled out to his 5 year old son, Maverick, ‘It’s Bath Time!!!’ No response for said child. Maverick was chilling in his room playing with Lego. So my friend left it alone for ten minutes, then decided to leave the kitchen and walk over to his son’s bedroom door, pushed it ajar and for the second time said, ‘Maverick, it’s BATH TIME!’ Maverick did not flinch, did not respond, did not turn around, did not put down his Lego, he just kept playing.

At this point my friend reminded himself that if he was in the kitchen (probably not cooking dinner for the family) and had opened a packed of biscuits, if Maverick was outside in the back yard, he would hear the rustling of paper from the kitchen, drop whatever he was doing and run inside at a rapid pace, skim around the corner with his little legs almost flying up over his head and without any hesitation say, ‘Dad, what’s that, what have you got, can I have one?’ So knowing what a different reaction he could inspire in his child depending on the desire, he went in for one final attempt before physically picking up his baby boy and marching him into the bathroom. He crept right up behind his son and said, ‘Maverick, it’s bath time’ Nothing.

Why is this story important? It’s important because we all have a condition called ‘selective hearing’. It’s easy to block out hearing something we don’t want to hear. It’s a no brainer to play ignorant to avoid doing something we simply don’t want to do. And on the flip side, it’s just as easy to develop over sensitive hearing in order to attain something we desire. In life, selective hearing is something that I think as adults we need to reverse. Because at the end of the day, the universe can scream your answers at you and if you choose to ignore it, ultimately we are the ones that miss out, and in life there is not enough time in the day to miss out, on anything, ever. Sometimes we don’t want to hear what the universe is telling us because it’s something we just don’t want to do, but what if that is the thing that unlocks the door that leads you to your breakthrough. Don’t get me wrong. Maverick is a kid and I am not saying that avoiding bath time is going to have an adverse effect on his performance as a person, what I am saying though, is that it is an interesting characteristic that we seem to develop as children.

That said, hear what I am saying… yes pun intended… sharpen your hearing, and understand that sometimes in life, the universe isn’t going to tell you what you want to hear, it’s going to tell you what you need to hear. If you can open your ears to it all, you’ll start to realise that the answers are all there, we just have to hear them and then act. I believe that the universe only speaks to us because it has our best interest at heart and wants the best for us, exactly like a daddy does for his child.

The Deal

You can become a victim or you can deal with the situation with grace a style. Sometimes the victim card is a lot easier to play, you just react to everything that is happening to you, you get to throw a tantrum, be sad, irresponsible, annoying and of course your friends will rally around you and pick you up off the floor.

But entertain the thought of having the worst thing happen to you and you just deal with it well. So well, in fact that it surprises you. What about choosing that?

I never thought that I would have it in me, but somehow I dug so deep within my soul and I managed to handle the worst pain I have ever gone through with grace and style, to the point where it actually surprised me and almost shocked me a little, but in a good way.

During the past few months, there have been a few things that I have come to realize, and it’s only because my world has been rocked so hard, that is forced me to sit up and pay attention. What I realised is that yes there is more in you than you think you know and you always have a choice about how you are going to conduct yourself. I am totally convinced that you have zero control over the hand that you get dealt but 100% control over how you play that hand. So how are you going to play your cards? Shitty things happen to good people, good things happen to crap humans, It’s just the way it is.

That is sometimes how the pieces on that magical chessboard of life get moved around, and we have no control over that. What you can control and try to implement in your life is a solid commitment to handling it well. Even when the situation on the outside looks impossible to cope with, understand and make sense of, it is still up to you, good person, to reach deep into yourself and pull out the goods. That is how character is built. That is what makes you a solid person. And one day when you finally reach the top of that bloody mountain you can rest with the knowledge that you will be taking in that view for a long time, because it is depth of character that keeps you at the top.

When you feel like you have been hit by a bus, or a freight train, be thankful that you weren’t actually hit by one, because the reason you are still here is because this is only going to make you stronger. So pay attention to the pain and breathe through the bad moments in life, it’s from these tests that the Universe is writing your testimony.

Cottoning On

Sometimes you discover something about a person’s past and it makes so much sense. My co-host in a regulate conversation mentioned, quite casually, flippantly, and matter-of-factly, that he used to work at Cotton On. On hearing this news, I asked him to please repeat what he had just casually glossed over as an unimportant detail in the story he was telling. 

Me: Sorry, you used to work where?

He: ‘Yeah, I used to work at Cotton On.’ 

It was at this point that I collapsed in a fit of laughter. I never thought about it until that moment, but he is totally the guy that would have worked a Cotton On. Sure it was on Thursday late night shopping and weekends, and yes he was the all-important Manager of the retail facility, earning a buck and learning the ropes. I can just picture him, with his name badge positioned perfectly straight on his lapel, dressed in head-to-toe Cotton On, fixing the visual merchandising to perfection and going above and beyond the call of duty just to help customer obtain a set of V-necks in a number of faded pastel colours, for what most would call a steal. Scanning that front security gate with caution to preserve his 100% stock pile and using his killer charm to up-sell the most oblivious of customers. 

If you took one look at this guy today, and then pictured him Managing at Cotton On, it simply conjures up images that can only be laughed about, hysterically, for hours. Which is exactly what happened next. He is totally ‘that’ guy. I am almost saddened that I didn’t know this information sooner, but perhaps the fact that I discovered this now, makes it all the more hilarious. 

There are just some people on the planet that make perfect sense of some places. And he does that for Cotton On.

On hearing this nugget of gold, of course the jokes started flying around the room at a rapid rate.

He: I don’t get why it’s so funny?

Me: Did you have to do the ‘close’ when you worked at Cotton On? That’s C.L.O.S.E.’

He: ‘Shut Up Maz, it’s not that funny.

Me: Is that how you treated your customers when you worked at Cotton On?’

He: ‘Seriously, you are such a bitch, I don’t get why you are laughing so much.’

Me: ‘No seriously, did you really work at Cotton On?’

Next up a friend of the team, who had a sweet tip off from someone else in the room, fired through this email.

Hey Hon,

 How are you?

I’ve had a terrible day today… I did this wicked dance move at work and ripped my t-shirt! Arrrrghhhhh… so annoying…

Any chance you could hook me up with a Cotton On discount?? 

Do they still have the 2 for 1 deals going on – what do you recommend??

Hope you can help!

This was enough to have me fall off my chair in hysterics.

In fact for the next hour he was tortured. Anything that was said was responded to with, ‘did you think that when you worked at Cotton On.’

He: ‘I think we should roll the next song and take calls off the back.’

Me: ‘That’s a great idea, remember when you worked at Cotton On?’

As the laughs continued, the ideas flowed. I am not sure what it was that possessed me, but somewhere in between those fits of laughter, I decided that torturing my friend about his past retail experience was not going to let-up until the night was out. 

I fired off an email to the team.

Subject: Ummmm…

http://www.cottonon.com/au

That is all

Maz

 Again, my friend was not impressed with this one bit, but I continued to find it hilarious.

Then I actually did some investigation and discovered that you can subscribe to a Cotton On online newsletter. I signed him up.

Thankyou!

Thank you for your subscription. 

Look out for new Cotton On emails arriving soon.

Just as the laughs had begun to subside, this happened.

He: ‘F*** You Compton’

He got a confirmation email in his inbox. I am almost proud to admit, that I cried with laughter. It’s been a while since I have literally cried laughing, with eruptions of giggles flowing from my belly. And man it felt good.

Thank you Cotton On for give my friend his first ever job.

The end… for now

You know. Don’t you?

There are two things that always happen on a cheeky weekend getaway.

1. One of the guys will either break something or end up in one of our dresses.

2. We will play UNO.

Uno (pronounced /ˈuːnoʊ/; from the Italian and Spanish word for ‘one’) is a card game played with a specially printed deck

This game has become one of my favourites. Just this year I have spent an entire Saturday night playing UNO with my neighbour who was, at the time, on a first date with this gorgeous chick. I was puppy sitting a baby Labrador, who we nick named Ugg, because he really did look like an Ugg boot. It would appear that we both had something cute to show off, however, his girl stayed, I didn’t keep the pup. They now live together, so I gained a new neighbour, who is pretty good at UNO. I have spent hours at airports playing the game waiting for a flight. It’s been played in bars, pubs and on a plane with two random people. It’s the universal game that is a great friendship starter. What I have noticed during all my UNO playing, and let’s be honest, that is a lot, is that there are certain types of UNO players, an just perhaps these players tactics say a lot more about the individual behind the play.

What kind of UNO player are you? Do you know?

The Romantic

Are you the person that at the start of the first game says, ‘Wait wait, are we playing house rules?’ Then there is a long drawn out discussion about what exactly the house rules are, and which house rules will apply to this particular game.

Just for the record these are the house rules that I play by:

You cannot end on a picture card.

If you don’t say UNO when you have one card left in your hand, you have to pick up an extra card.

You can pick up and put down in the same play if you can play your card and if you are quick enough.

You can put a +2 on a +2 and then the next person has to pick up 4

You can put a +4 on any card

You can put a +4 on a +4 and the next person has to pick up 8 etc

Other things that the romantic is renowned for are putting on back ground music, making sure everyone has a drink and giving up their place on the comfy couch, to sit on the floor just to ensure everyone else is settled. This is person that sets up the environment to make it the most awesome time, with all the bells and whistles. They are making a date out of it. And that’s special.

The Cheat

Do you hold your cards so tight that you bend them a little bit? This behaviour is usually typical of the only child of the group. Unable to understand that generally speaking, others are too busy concentrating on what cards they have in their hand, to even bother trying to take a peak at anyone else’s. (And let’s face it, it doesn’t really benefit the player to peak because you don’t know which card is going to be played anyway – unless the cheat is also a mind-reader and then everyone else is screwed). The cheat has an inability to share and is always scheming fresh ways to de-rail the game. Throwing a 6 card on a 9, is ‘the cheats’ classic move, hoping to keep the cheating scandal under wraps. The cheat probably didn’t lose a lot growing up, hence the only child reference, and can find it really hard to accept not winning, which makes cheating a viable option. The cheat is not always at ease during a game of UNO. Not being able to control who puts down what card will keep a cheat on edge for the duration of the game, as they are strained with consistent and new thought patterns of how to take everyone else in the game down. The cheat usually wins, if their schemes go unnoticed, and even if the cheat doesn’t in fact cheat, will usually win regardless. Some get all the luck. Once the cheat wins. It is his or her business to ensure that everyone remembers.

The Emotionalist

Have you ever yelled at someone during a game of UNO? Do you verbally abuse the person that slams you with a pick up 2? If the person preceding you plays a card that means you have to pick up a card or or skip a turn, therefore completely destroying your quest to get rid of your cards the quickest, do you take it personally? Have statements such as, ‘you bitch!’ ‘oh gee thanks’ or ‘your dead’ flown out of your mouth, Then I would predict that you are an emotional UNO player. It is just a game, but in the midst of playing, you get emotional. You get offended and you will get your own back. This behaviour typifies a person that needs lots of hugs. Their strategy will come from an emotional place and will usually target one individual in the group. Their focus becomes centred not necessarily on the job at hand, winning the game, but making an offender pay for their UNO debt. The Emotionalist will throw in a new rule, change the setting of the game and even attempt to impose punishments, so that it becomes more than just a card game, it becomes personal. Small punishments along the way, will make The Emotionalist enjoy the journey. For example: whoever loses the next game has to sit outside for the next game, in the cold with no jacket OR has to cook breakfast. Unperturbed by winning, this strategist is happy with the small goals kicked along the way rather than the big fat tally at the end. The Emotionalist will usually be the person that undoes the cheat, which can often fire up into a tirade of abuse. Other typical Emotionalist behaviours are throwing their cards into the middle of the table in protest, quitting the game, and even picking up a card and giving to the person that forgot/pretended to forget to pick one up.

Happy UNO playing

The end.. for now.